


Would You Like To? (Suave)

by RedLlamas



Series: Pride Month 2017 [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angry McCoy, Cuban-Tanzanian Uhura, Español | Spanish, Honduran McCoy, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Past Relationship(s), Past Threesome, Polysexual Character, Scotty can't finish his book, Venezuelan Kirk, he still hasn't finished his book, there's very few this time you guys should be proud of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedLlamas/pseuds/RedLlamas
Summary: “Never have I ever been in a threesome,” Uhura said.McCoy lowered one finger. He was the only one who did.Written for my Pride Month challenge





	Would You Like To? (Suave)

**Author's Note:**

> based the never have I ever/threesome scene from [this video](https://roosterhunter.tumblr.com/post/159309061616/chants-boy-boy-boy)

McCoy took a break when Chapel told him she was going to take a break. There really wasn’t much to do today, everyone has been suspiciously healthy for about a week now. Usually someone turned up with some odd malady, claiming it had happened on last shore leave, but usually it was just a bad rash. Not a pip.

They walked over to the mess hall, where they were greeted by Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu. They were sat at a table playing what seemed to be an intense game of Bullshit. Uhura looked up at waved them over. Chekov placed a card down, “Six.”

“Bullshit,” Sulu claimed. Chekov raised his eyebrows, then turned the card over. It was a six.

“Do you think I’d lie to you, Mr. Sulu?” Chekov asked as he shoved the twelve cards towards him. Sulu had an edge to his glare. He had nteenth cards. He is hurting inside. Uhura grinned at their antics. She turned to the medics and asked, “Would you two like to play once this round is over?”

McCoy shook his head. “Sulu would kill me for every card that I said was true. Pass.”

Chapel pet her hand. “I would like to.” Ahh, there it was. The two lovebirds smiling at each other again, completely lost in each other. Sulu rolled his eyes but still cooed at them. Chapel reached over to brush his arm.

“Ah, well, maybe we should play something to include everybody?” Uhura said as she placed a card down. “Eight.”

“Nine. I agree,” Chekov said.

“Like what? Ten.”

“Ohh! Maybe we could play ‘never have I ever’!” Chapel offered. She clapped her hands, giddy. “I haven’t played since college!” Those around the table agreed, with Chekov asking with what will they play with.

“With our hands, Pavel,” Uhura answered.

“Oh, really? Back home, we’d play with shots of vodka,” Chekov peacocked. Sulu threw the cards in his face. Chekov then began to pick them up. At the same time, Scotty came in with a book in hand. He waved at his friends at the table, then sat near them and began reading.

“Alright, so, everybody know how to play?” Chapel asked, looking around at the others. They all nodded, putting their hands up. “Alright, I’ll start. Never have I ever been arrested.” Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov lowered one finger. “Uhura, are you serious?” Chapel looked scandalized.

Uhura, on the other hand, looked mighty proud of herself. “Oh yes. Back home.”

“Where home, Cuba or Tanzania?” Sulu interrupted.

“In Tanzania. It was when I was younger, beautifuler. I was partying with some friends, we were drinking, and we got to trash-talking some nearby cops. Apparently, you can’t do that on a Friday night after attending a friend’s bachelorette party. I was in a jail cell for three days until my brother came to pick me up. On the way home, he told me, ‘Nini unadhani?’”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s Swahili for ‘what were you thinking?’” She laughed, and began again. “Never have I ever eaten a ghost pepper.” No one lowered their fingers. Sulu continued with the fact that he’s never gone below the speed limit. This went on for about ten minutes until most were down to own hand. McCoy had four, Uhura had five, Sulu had four, Chekov had three, and Chapel had four.

“Never have I ever been in a threesome,” Uhura said.

McCoy lowered one finger. He was the only one who did.

“Ohhhh!!!” was heard ‘round the table. Scotty slapped Sulu’s shoulder to get them to stop being so loud. They did not stop. Scotty gave up on trying to finish his chapter, and opted for listening in on the juicy game.

McCoy immediately regretted this decision. “Sh–, mm,” he groaned. The rest laughed at this turn of events. McCoy hid his face.

Chekov laughed as Uhura exclaimed, “We are learning _so much!_ ”

“Shut up Pavel, I don’t need your laughter!” McCoy barked at Chekov, which made him start guffawing.

“We are learning so much about Leonard McCoy in this game!” Uhura finished.

“Pause, pause, pause,” Sulu held out his hands in a T. He began counting on his fingers: “Girl boy girl, boy girl boy?”

“So, okay uh –“

“Boy boy boy!” Chapel counted off. This made the others start chanting “boy boy boy!” as loud as they could.

“No, calm down!” McCoy tried as they started clapping and whooping. When the cheering calmed down a bit, Scotty whistled for their attention. When they turned to him, he looked at McCoy, raised his eyebrows, and said, “Mr. McCoy,” liltingly. He tipped an imaginary hat at him, which made Uhura and Sulu burst into another round of laughter. Off in the other side of the mess hall could be heard whistles. McCoy even heard a wolf whistle or two.

He started to redden, mad at this game, mad at his so-called friends, made at Scotty tipping his hat at him, mad at the whistlers. He started to get up, but Chapel and Uhura pulled him back down. He saw Scotty laugh a table away, damn him, that eavesdropper.

“Aww, c’mon, wipe that grumpy facial expression off!” Chekov urged.

“Yeah, come on, tell us, good doctor,” Sulu egged.

“I need you all to stop laughing if I’m going to tell the story,” McCoy grumbled. Uhura got to shush everybody, and they all started to pay close attention to the doctor.

“Alright, fine. So. I was in college,” McCoy began, but was cut off as Chekov whistled. “Anyways, I was in college, and I had met my ex, Amanda.” Sulu rolled his R’s. Uhura slapped his arm and let McCoy continue.

“Amanda and I were in love, and we were young, and in college. We had this mutual friend, Milan, and they were absolutely wonderful. Amanda and I had talked about possibly having a threesome, we’d been together for three years already and we wanted to change it up a bit. So, we asked Milan if they’d be willing to – to join us.” At this point, McCoy looked down at the table, ears red. He scratched his ear, and looked up at his friends. They were all invested in the story. They nodded for him to continue.

“So, we set a time and place, I waited in the hotel room –“

“Wait wait wait, I’m sorry, but, you guys rented a hotel room?” Chapel asked. She honestly looked impressed at learning about this.

“What? Oh, yeah, nada de eso de un motel ni nada,” McCoy grinned while saying.

“Ehhh, miren a este,” Uhura smiled, also well impressed. She nodded in respect.

“Yeah, well, you know. Anyways, there I am waiting, and I just had to wait several minutes more before in came Amanda and Milan.” McCoy didn’t know how to continue, because at the time, everything had gone well, a bit awkward, but it was to be expected.

“So? How did it happen, how did it go?” Sulu asked.

“Well, Amanda and I started … kissing Milan, bringing them to the room, undressing each other, you know …” McCoy did not move his eyes from the table, fully aware that the entire room was listening in.

“We fell on the bed, a tangle of limbs, Jesus, it was very hot in there. All the touching, the kisses, the, yeah, that, it was all very good, very nice. We spent the whole night together, and in the morning we just lay there, together, and maybe we did it again.”

The entire room filled with whistles and shouts, and when someone started clapping, everyone else did. McCoy tried to get up again but Chapel and Uhura pulled him down to sit again.

“Yeah yeah, that was the threesome, alright, let’s get it all out fellas. Now, Sulu it's your turn, if you please?” McCoy barked, holding up three fingers. Over on the other table, Scotty got up to leave, but when he reached the door, he turned around and got the table’s attention. When McCoy turned up to glare at him, Scotty asked, with a devious smile on his face, “McCoy, so after that, you’ve never been in a motel room?”

“No.”

“Would you like to?” Scotty winked at him before leaving.

McCoy gaped at the door. Sulu and Chekov turned around to look at him, surprise and wonder on their faces.

“Mr. McCoy,” Sulu tipped an imaginary hat at him.

“It’s ‘Doctor McCoy’ to you, Sulu,” McCoy said distractedly as he tried to get up from the table. This time, Chapel and Uhura didn’t try to stop him. As he ran to catch up with Scotty, he left with a round of applause and a chorus of whistling.

Scotty was waiting for him by the elevator doors. Once the doors opened, they both entered, smiling at each other.

~~~  
McCoy was bringing Kirk some reports on the patient from last week, with the odd rash. Apparently, the next planet they were going to had much of its population suffering from the same rash, and Kirk wanted to read the report to know how best to proceed.

Entering the bridge, he gave the reports to Kirk and waited by in case he had to do something else.

Kirk was smirking. That’s great, fantastic.

“So, Bones, I heard you’ve never been to a motel before?” Kirk said easily, intently looking at the papers in hand.

“I’ve actually been to one, Jim," McCoy readily answered.

Kirk nodded. “And to my knowledge, you’ve been to one recently, eh, Bones? Care to tell us where it can be found?” He finally looked at McCoy, all smug-like.

McCoy smiled at him, and began to walk away, exacerbating the sore in his lower back. “I would love to tell you, but frankly, there are no Venezuelans allowed.”

“Oh, but Hondurans are?”

“I’m pretty sure it has more to do with the fact que nacistes en un potrero de siete vacas.”

“Pero, ¿un Catracho si?” Kirk smiled at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m afraid so, sir, now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pay for my stay,” McCoy said before limping out of the bridge to the elevator. The last thing he heard was Kirk’s laughter. He gave his own chuckle at that.


End file.
